Greatest Zombie Movie Ever by Jeff Strand

Author:Jeff Strand
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Sourcebooks, Inc
Published: 2016-01-13T05:00:00+00:00

15

“Do you want another take?” Alicia asked.

“Nope, we’re good.” Justin understood the value of doing multiple takes during the moviemaking process, but they were trying to shoot an entire feature film very, very quickly. So in a best-case scenario, he’d only have to do a second take if a sinkhole swallowed the entire crew on the first.

“Next is your close-up,” Justin told Alicia. “You’re going to stop, listen, and then say, ‘Hello?’ If another word feels more natural than hello, go ahead and say it. Just say something that’s along the same lines as hello. We’re not locking anybody into the written page here.”

“Hello will be fine,” said Alicia.

Justin took the clapboard from Daisy, rubbed out 15A with his thumb, and wrote 15B in its place. He supposed that he could have just rubbed out the “A” and replaced it with a “B,” but he’d remember that for the next shot. He retrieved Bobby, who put on his headphones and picked up his boom mic, and then everybody got in their places for the next shot.

“Action!”

Alicia stopped. She stopped exactly the way Veronica Chaos would stop.

She listened. Again, if you hooked Justin’s brain to a video monitor and played the mental footage of how Veronica Chaos would walk, this was it.

“Hello?” she said. Perfect. Absolutely perfect. And Justin was glad she’d stuck with the word hello instead of ad-libbing a replacement.

Justin glanced at Gabe. Through the viewfinder, Justin could see that the boom mic was now in the shot.

Actually the boom mic was in motion.

He looked over at Bobby, whose eyes had rolled up in his head. Not all the way like he was possessed by a demon, but enough, and the boom mic slipped out of his hands.

It struck Alicia in the upper left temple, which was exactly where her infected eyebrow piercing was located. The microphone thumped off it and fell to the ground.

If you were to imagine the quietest scream in the world, this would be the opposite.

It was a scream that in the middle of a real zombie apocalypse, would send every zombie for fifty miles scurrying away, deciding that no amount of human flesh was worth the risk. It was a scream that old sailors might discuss in hushed tones on the night of the full moon when they were sharing tales of times they’d experienced genuine fear.

Alicia’s immediate shocked response was to clutch her eyebrow in her hand, which even she would have to admit was not the best possible reaction. So she quickly followed her “boom mic smacked into my infected eyebrow” scream with a “my hand smacked into my infected eyebrow” scream, which wasn’t quite as loud but certainly wasn’t muted.

Bobby, it should be noted, was wearing headphones for the purpose of hearing sounds that were amplified through the microphone, which was on its most sensitive setting. Though Alicia did not scream directly into the boom mic, the noise was louder for him than it was for everybody else, and it was pretty darn loud for everybody else.

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